Questions and Answers

How old was I when I started TTC/ IVF / gave birth to my rainbow baby?
Started TTC at 32. Started IVF at 34. Gave birth to J1 at 37 and J2 at 40.

What is the cause of my infertility?
My cycles were very regular all my life (maybe except for a few weird months) and it was so wrong of me to assume that regular cycles equal ovulations. Obviously, my issue was beyond ovulation since clomid didn't do its magic. For my first batch of eggs retrieved, half were naturally fertilised and half via ICSI. No natural fertilisation occurs and no one gave me any explanation as to why. To make things more complicated, I also had to deal with miscarriages. Most doctors blamed chromosome abnormality but result came back normal for the one and only karyotyping. Frankly, I don't know for sure exactly which medication(s) is/are helping.

Why did I stick with KKIVF for so many years?
First of all, I needed to stay with a government hospital in order to be eligible for the government co-funding. When my first batch of embryos were used up, I thought about changing hospital, but at that time, I didn't know of any highly recommended female IVF doctor in NUH and I hardly heard of any reviews about SGH IVF. (Back then, I stubbornly insisted that I wanted a female doctor.) After using up all three frozen cycle co-funding, I considered transferring my frozen embryos to a private clinic. However, Dr Roland Chieng told me frankly that he wouldn't suggest any difference in treatment. Dr SF Loh was my O&G doctor for my rainbow baby. After giving birth, I contacted TFC and found out that the storage fee is based on a monthly charge that would add up to be much more than the annual storage fee in KKH. Hence, the strategy was to transfer to TFC nearer to the FET cycle. But I ended up too tired to get it done (drained out from working from home and watching a toddler during Circuit Breaker). In 2021, I had another chance to switch out before my third fresh cycle and was planning to go with Prof PC Wong. Unfortunately, NUH IVF lab was going to be closed for renovation. And so, this was how I was destined to stay with KKIVF till the very end.

Why did I considered switching out of KKIVF?
It is no secret that the waiting time at KKH is horrendous. A typical appointment during IVF cycle goes like this: wait for my turn for scan, wait to review scan and take prescription from a random junior doctor, go to the pharmacy and wait to collect medications, and sometimes, still need to go back to KKIVF for nurse to mix the injections or to give you further instructions. Besides, I only get to see my chosen doctor for consultation, egg retrieval and embryo transfer. In comparison, private patients (and even NUH patients) get to see their doctors during their IVF cycle scan appointments.

How did I deal with all the disappointment?
Certainly not easy facing 4 years of BFN. I guess what helped kept me going was to look forward to the next step in treatment. I consider myself as quite a practical/ logical person, so as long there is a solution to the problem, I'm all good. I don't share details of this journey even with my closest friend (unless they ask), because I don't expect them to understand and any well-intended comments from them may turn out unpleasant. Therefore, my support was really from the ladies going through the same "shit" and a few of us eventually become friends. Of course, there were moments I felt totally hopeless and very emotional. At one point, I stopped browsing social media so I wouldn't see pregnancy announcements and baby photos. But after all the grieving, I picked myself up again and carry on.

What was my diet pre/ during IVF?
I'm not very good at eating healthy and didn't follow the low carbs, low sugar kind of diet. What I did was to cut coffee, tea, cold drinks, cold food, cooling food. Before ET, I would try to eat more red bean and drink pomegranate to thicken my lining. After ET, I brew my own longan red date tea and drink ready-made chicken essence.

Did I make any lifestyle changes?
It was only after my 1st IVF fresh cycle that I read in the forum about the very highly recommend book "It Starts with the Egg". By then, it was too late to change the quality of my harvest eggs. But, the motivated ladies in the WhatsApp chat group were influencing me to make simple changes. So I bought glass containers to store most of my food and switched to paraben free shampoo and body wash. I also started to cook and pack my lunch to work on most days. (I tried exercising but wasn't discipline enough to make it a routine.) Then, came all the failed cycles and I lost the hope that my effort would make a difference. Now, I still try to avoid plastic food containers (but COVID-19 made it a lot more challenging) and I still wear slippers at home during my cycles.

What supplements did I take?
Folic acid (5 mg from Unity) right from the very beginning, even before I sought any treatment. I was (and still am) very resistant and very bad at swallowing any pill bigger than the panadol. I used to bite panadols, antibotics and Vitamin D softgels before I could swallow them. When I was pregnant with mini J and breastfeeding, I didn't take prenatal or DHA supplements too. So I was only more consistent with methyl folate (active form of folic acid) and Vitamin D when I started IVF frozen cycle 6 till end of 1st trimester.